lifeguard: this job is to actively fight natural selection, by taking well timed breaks
The two most important things to learn in retail are honesty and empathy, and the sooner you learn to fake them the better
A sysadmin goes to the doctor complaining of an upset stomach. The doctor tells him "mine works just fine"
A sysadmin goes to the doctor complaining he is hungry and malnourished. The doctor discovers the sysadmin was trying to eat by shoving mashed potatoes in his ear.
A writer and an editor are lost in the desert, and just as they're about to give up hope they see an oasis. They stagger up to the pond and the writer puts his face in the water to take a long drink. When he comes up for air he sees the editor peeing into the pond. "Hey, what are you doing?" the writer yells. The editor replies, "I'm making it better!"
How do you get a $10 million dollar company? Start with a $20 million dollar company and let an MBA run it.
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back." Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?" In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
The two most important things to learn in retail are honesty and empathy, and the sooner you learn to fake them the better
A sysadmin goes to the doctor complaining of an upset stomach. The doctor tells him "mine works just fine"
A sysadmin goes to the doctor complaining he is hungry and malnourished. The doctor discovers the sysadmin was trying to eat by shoving mashed potatoes in his ear.
A writer and an editor are lost in the desert, and just as they're about to give up hope they see an oasis. They stagger up to the pond and the writer puts his face in the water to take a long drink. When he comes up for air he sees the editor peeing into the pond. "Hey, what are you doing?" the writer yells. The editor replies, "I'm making it better!"
How do you get a $10 million dollar company? Start with a $20 million dollar company and let an MBA run it.
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back." Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?" In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
