1 Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the show?
2 I may have Alzheimer's but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.
3 Q: What's worse than a fly in your soup? A: The Holocaust
4 What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million jews.
5 Why don't black guys like blow jobs?
6 Why is aspirin white? It works.
7 Why don't you ever see black people going on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
8 How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?
2 I may have Alzheimer's but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.
3 Q: What's worse than a fly in your soup? A: The Holocaust
4 What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million jews.
5 Why don't black guys like blow jobs?
Black guys don't like any jobs.
6 Why is aspirin white? It works.
7 Why don't you ever see black people going on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
8 How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?
Two in the front, two in the back, eleven thousand in the ashtrays.
13 What's the difference between a baby and an bag of cocaine?
9 "Have you ever had Ethiopian food?"
"No..."
"Neither have they!"
10 What's the best part about a blow job from an Ethiopian?
"No..."
"Neither have they!"
10 What's the best part about a blow job from an Ethiopian?
They always swallow.
11 Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
The wheelchair.
12 What did the black kid get for Christmas?
Your bike.
Your bike.
13 What's the difference between a baby and an bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
14 Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
19 Two condoms are walking down the street and pass a gay bar. One says to the other, "want to go in and get shit faced?"
14 Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
15 What's black, has eight legs, and scares women?
Gang Rape.
16 What's yellow and red and sits on my porch? My nigger. I'll paint him any color I want.
17 Q: What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded.
18 Q: What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded.
Gang Rape.
16 What's yellow and red and sits on my porch? My nigger. I'll paint him any color I want.
17 Q: What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded.
20 Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
21 How long does it take for a woman to have an orgasm?
21 How long does it take for a woman to have an orgasm?
Who cares.
22 Two haitians walk into a bar...
22 Two haitians walk into a bar...
..it collapses.
24 Don't make 9/11 jokes, man! Have a little respect; 11 brave muslims died that day.
23 Knock Knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 Who?
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 Who?
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!
24 Don't make 9/11 jokes, man! Have a little respect; 11 brave muslims died that day.
25 What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends.
26 I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"
Depends.
26 I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"
Kinky bitch.
My girlfriend is into some really strange roleplay when we have sex. She always insists on pretending to be 14 years old. I don't get why, she'll be 14 in a couple of years anyway
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead"
A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it.
Q: What's the best part about dead baby jokes? A: They never get old
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
